Life and Christmas Hope

Oh, life! It's been a while, eh? Yes. Yes it has. In recent news:

--I am going to study abroad in Guanajuato, Mexico from January 14 'til the middle of June! I am incredibly excited, but also feeling like I need to do a whole lot of preparation. Mainly soul preparation. God really gave me peace in this whole decision, and I guess I can't be sure whether certain things were from His Spirit or just by chance, but He made it clear to me through a series of happenings that this is where he wants me to be. The people I came in contact with, the encouragement I received, the weird signs (haha....it was so weird: I was thinking and praying about whether to go or not. I sat down at the computer at Sozo Cafe, and there was an ad taking up half of the page that said "Mexico--Time To Go." I kid you not! I actually think that was what finally did me in) all led me to the conclusion that this will be a great growing/learning experience, both for my soul and my knowledge of Spanish and Latin America. I feel like it'll really give me some direction about whether I want to live abroad forever, or whether I'm meant to stay here in the states at least some of the time.

I just got word today about the host family with whom I'll be staying!!! A couple with 3 kids, aged 12, 13 and 21, 3 dogs, great food and a great location in Guanajuato. :) I'll have a roommate from a different country, and I'm really psyched to find out who she is!

--Finals end tomorrow for me--heading home on Saturday to be with the fam!

--Just finished the book Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. Strongly recommend. Strongly.

--This has by far been my favorite semester of college. There are just so many wonderful people here, wonderful groups to be part of, outdoor adventures to be had, love to be shared. I love the way that this place has become home.


So, I feel like one of the reasons I haven't really written in a while is for lack of inspiration. My heart has been pretty heavy for the past few weeks. Ya see, I've always kind of felt like "I'm okay. I don't really need that much forgiveness." But as of late, I've realized how much that mindset has burdened my walk with God, has weakened my passion for him and the hope that only he gives, and has muddled my purpose. I know in my head that I need him, but recently haven't let that knowledge travel as far as my heart.

I prayed a lot about it--just desiring to be really really passionate about who He is, because I believe He's all we have. He really did save my life from meaninglessness, selfishness, and so much despair and sin, and I wanted to feel that.

It's funny how he knows that we have to struggle through things in order to see the light, in order to be set free. We have to walk through the fire in order for our ropes of slavery to be burnt off of our wrists. Not that he wants us to be in pain, but it is often what brings us to him. I've been walking through the fire, I guess.

A lot of old guilt has been cropping up in my heart, and God doesn't want that--He died for it all ready, his blood was spilled to make me clean--but I am grateful for it, because it's made me see how much I need Him. And it has allowed me to start seeing myself as He sees me--as one who has sinned much, but is without blemish because Jesus died in my place. It's so beautiful. (I know these thoughts probably aren't tying together so well--sorry for that :). )

I was talking to a friend last night about all this. Guilt and everything. She really, really encouraged me, so I thought I'd share some of her words of encouragement. To me, it was a beautiful reminder of the hope that Christmas brings: The birth of the savior of the world, who wants every single one of us to find our joy in him.

--In the book of Daniel, when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are thrown into the fiery furnace, they walk out unscathed, and the only thing that has changed is that they are free of the ropes with which they were bound. The same is true of our suffering, if we hope in Christ.

--Even if the worst thing I could EVER imagine happening, happens, it's still ok. I have Jesus with me, living in me, forever. If my loved ones died, if everyone were to turn against me, it would still be okay. Everything here is light and momentary, transient in comparison to what is eternal and unseen. That hit me last night.

--God knows every single sin I've ever committed and will commit, but because of His Son, He forgets them. As far as the east is from the west, so far he has removed my transgressions from me. I am white as snow because of his death on the cross.

--I will be able to help others who struggle with the same things I have been. He works out all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8: 28).

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told." Habakkuk 1:5

"Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:9

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3-4

"We're more sinful than we ever dared imagine But we're more loved than we ever dared dream." Tim Keller

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43: 18-19


He is so good.